Peeping Tomcat: Chapter 13 - Decision

“Yo! Earth to Adrien!”

I snapped alert and frantically looked around me. Students buzzed past in the school courtyard. They rarely paid me any attention anymore, until the newest ad comes out, that is. By my left shoulder Nino was waving at my face to refocus me.

“Nino?”

“'Bout time you noticed me, dude. I've only called your name like three times since you got out of your car.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me in close so I could hear him talking low. “For reals, though, you still seem really zoned. Ya sure you're well enough for class already? Your sentry made it sound like you were on death's door yesterday.”

“My... sentry?” I blinked at him, but almost as soon as I asked the question I figured out the answer. “Oh! Nathalie! Yeah, sorry. I guess she got a bit protective. I'm fine. Really. I just have a lot going on, and I guess I got overwhelmed. Thankfully, all I needed was a day to rest. In truth, I'm happy to be back here. I couldn't spend another day cooped up in that room, especially when I could be here hanging out with you.” I gave him a smile to try to prove to both of us that I was fine.

“Well, in that case, I'm glad you're feeling better. Welcome back, bro.” He unstrung his arm from around me and held out his fist. I tapped it with my own.

“So, you stopped by yesterday?” I instantly felt my face grow warm as I pictured him and the girls at my front gate trying to deliver Marinette's soup. I pivoted my head to try to hide the blush.

“Yeah. Marinette had made you some soup to try to help you recover, so she, Alya, and I went over during lunch. Your dad's assistant said you weren't up for food, though, and shooed us away.”

I nibbled the corner of my lip to try to stop myself from ridiculously grinning at the thought of them trying to make me feel better. I never imagined I could have such great friends. I was also still wrapping my mind around the fact that Marinette making me soup meant that Ladybug had done something to try to help me recover.

“Sorry about that. It was sweet of you guys, but I did tell Nathalie that I wasn't feeling all that hungry yesterday. I think all I had all day was a bowl of chicken noodle.”

“If you were going to eat soup anyway you could have had Marinette's.” Nino chuckled and playfully punched my shoulder.

I laughed back, but a pain shot through my chest. He was right, and I hated that I missed out. Even worse, I hated that it had upset Marinette, even temporarily.

“Well, look who's feeling better.” Alya was the first one to notice me step through the classroom door. As she announced my return, she not-so-subtly nudged Marinette. I caught only a brief glance at my raven-haired crush, but it was enough to make the hairs on the back of my neck prick up, and my heart run a half-marathon. My eyes darted down to the desk Nino and I shared; trying to block Marinette from view as much as possible as I made my way to my seat.

I skirted my desk, and tried to forget that Marinette sat behind me every school day. My Ladybug had been behind me that whole time. She had always been right there. I knew we knew each other outside our masks!

My throat tightened and I tried not to cough on the lump trapped behind my adam's apple. I was still unsure as to what to do with my knowledge that Marinette was Ladybug. All I knew was that my lungs burned for air, but refused to gather more in.

“Adrikins!”

What little air I could capture within my paralyzed lungs was knocked out by a tackling hug from Chloé. She pinned my arms to my side and nearly bent me in half as she leapt onto my back. Before I could catch my barrings, she spun me around and again pinned me within a bear hug. She nuzzled my chest as she squeezed me tight. My arms were just free enough to placidly pat her on the waist to try to calm her.

It didn't work.

“Hey, Chloé,” I coughed out through my limited breath.

“I'm so glad you're feeling better!” Chloé squeaked before blathering on about how worried she was for me. I didn't really pay any attention to her, though. Instead, I caught Marinette stiffening at her seat as her nails dug into the desk. Alya was by her best friend's side, tapping her shoulder to try to calm her down. It wasn't helping much.

“Chloé,” Marinette snarled. She then stuck up her nose and snobbishly continued, as if she were imitating Chloé, “do you really think it's wise to hug Adrien like that? What if he's contagious? You might get sick next.” She smirked, and I wasn't sure if she did so because she thought she came up with the perfect excuse to get Chloé off me, or because she liked the idea of Chloé having a sick day.

“It'd be worth it if they were Adrien's germs,” Chloé cooed back. She then stared up at me with pleading eyes. “Besides, you'd nurse me back to health, wouldn't you, Adrikins?” She batted her eyelashes. I couldn't be positive, but I thought I heard Marinette softly growl.

I leaned away from Chloé, trying to wiggle out of her grip. “I, uh-”

“Alright, Chloé, that is quite enough.” Miss Bustier walked into the classroom and stopped beside me. “Please allow Adrien his personal space, and go take your seat.”

The class giggled as Chloé abruptly disengaged and huffed over to her seat on the other side of the aisle. I released a small sigh of relief before sliding onto the classroom bench beside Nino.

“I'm glad you're feeling better, Adrien,” Miss Bustier continued as she walked over to her own desk and set up her paperwork for the day. I quietly thanked her before slouching in my chair, already worn out from the attention my return from a sick day garnished.

“Say something.” Alya's voice shot into my back.

“Alya, no, shhh,” Marinette whispered back.

I looked back at Alya, slightly shrugging both my shoulders and my eyebrows. Giving me a half-smile in response, Alya casually folded her arms on the desk in front of her. She then thumbed over to her best friend.

“Marinette has something she'd like to say to you,” she loudly whispered.

“Alya!” Marinette squeaked.

I shifted in my seat in order to look over my other shoulder; resting my elbow on the back of the bench.

Marinette awkwardly laughed and slowly raised her hand about chin-height before wiggling her fingers in a sheepish wave. Her smile was awkwardly plastered on, and a bit crookedly at that. She mouthed the word 'hi' but I didn't hear her say it. She jolted slightly as Alya elbowed her, and she cleared her throat.

“I'm glad you're feeling better.” Her voice barely made it to my ears. She gripped her purse strap tightly within both hands, and her cheeks pinked.

My heart stopped. I felt my own face heat up, so I croaked 'thanks' before whipping back around to stare at the chalkboard. My tongue tasted like it was wrapped in cotton.

“Dude,” Nino whispered at me, “ya sure you're okay? You're starting to get a little red. Ya got a fever?”

I had no clue how to explain that I was now seriously crushing on Marinette, and that the rosiness of her cheeks reminded me of her Ladybug mask. Even if I just left it at “I think I love Marinette” I would get an endless string of questions from him, and then from Alya via him. I didn't have the energy to go into it all. Especially in the middle of class.

Using the back of my hand, I wiped my brow and shook my head. Thankfully, being a model means knowing how to plaster on a believable smile, so I did.

“Nah, I'm fine, Nino. Thanks for worrying about me. I'm probably just flustered from everyone making such a big deal. I was only out one day.” My voice reached its limit of me holding my composure, so I cleared my throat and nodded over towards Miss Bustier. “Should probably pay attention though. I am a day behind now.”

I then focused on the chalkboard, and I wouldn't let anything distract me. Or, at least I made it look like that was the case. Every five minutes or so I was again struck with the realization that Ladybug was unmasked and sitting right behind me. She had always been right behind me. I saw her nearly every day. I had asked her for her autograph on the Jagged Stone CD cover she designed. She had made cloth dolls of us and three of the villains we had defeated. I had attempted to set Nino up with her, and even coached him how to tell her he-

I watched Nino out of the corner of my eye. Before he and Alya became a thing, he had told me he was crushing on Marinette. He didn't know how to tell her, so I offered to coach him through his date via an earpiece. When I felt it was time for him to confess, I had told him to say “I love you, Marinette.” He chickened out and claimed to like Alya instead. He and Alya had been dating ever since, and it was the perfect match. They were adorable together. But it was completely out of the blue.

So, was he ever in love with Marinette? It's hard to believe that he was. Knowing now how I felt about her, there was no way Nino could have gotten over her, and then fell for Alya in the same day. Not if he was in love with her.

Then why did I think Nino was in love with Marinette in the first place? Did he ever actually tell me he was in love? Did I just assume he loved her simply because he had a crush on her? Or-

I felt hot all over again. Had part of me known, even back then, that Marinette was Ladybug? Or had I been ignoring my crush on Marinette for that long? Why did I tell Nino to say “I wanted to take this opportunity to tell you that I love you, Marinette”? Was I subconsciously trying to tell her?

After my talk with Plagg the night before, I had come to terms with the fact that I had grown a crush on Marinette while I was watching her. I even accepted the possibility that I had a crush before then, which was why I became so panicked when I thought she was in trouble. This was a whole new level, though. Was I really so blind to my own crush on Marinette that I would unknowingly attempt to use my best friend as a mouthpiece to tell her? How deep did it go? How long had I liked Marinette?

“First day of school and we already have two lovebirds.”

I had denied Plagg's teasing, but was he right? Had I liked Marinette since then? I had just thought the elation I felt was because, thanks to Nino, I was now up to two new friends. She had forgiven me, and we made each other laugh. Doesn't that make everyone's heart quicken? Doesn't that erase everyone else's stress, even for a little bit? Sure, it was a different sensation than when Nino offered to be my new friend, but he also didn't hate me before.

Had I loved both sides of Marinette practically since the day I met her? Was I wrong to ever think I only liked her because of the Ladybug-half?

What was it about Ladybug that I loved? Her courage. Her kindness. Her sense of justice. Her brilliance. Her skill. Her desire to see the good in everyone. I had seen that all in Marinette. I had always seen it in Marinette, but it was so rare, so hidden, that I had never thought to attach those words to her before. It made sense that I knew I was in love with Ladybug, but couldn't figure it out when it came to Marinette.

Ladybug and I fought akumas together. We built up a bond. A trust. We were as open with each other as we could be while still hiding our identities. As Ladybug, Marinette was confident enough to really talk to me without her shyness getting in the way, even if I was simply Adrien at the time. I was able to get close to her.

And now she was right behind me, and I wanted to tell her everything, but I didn't know how. I didn't even have the time to. I silently prayed that Miss Bustier would tell us to split up into groups. I needed an excuse to turn around and just look at Marinette. I had found my Ladybug after months of searching for her, and I couldn't imagine anyone else I would have wanted it to be.

I tucked my hand into my pocket and traced my fingers over the edges of each bead on my lucky charm. It really did bring me the best luck. It brought me to the realization that mask or not, I was in love with Marinette. I still had no clue what to do with that information, though. The charm's luck fell short of miracles.

Never before had I wanted an akuma to attack. I would never wish that on anyone, but I needed to talk to Ladybug. I needed to talk to Marinette. I needed out of that classroom. I needed to be Chat Noir. I needed a few minutes.

The bell rang to mark the time; causing me to jump.

“Enjoy your lunch, everyone. We'll start our review of three-variable algebraic equations when you return.” Miss Bustier gathered up her notes and tapped them into straight edges against her desk.

My body was sore from forcing it to stay frozen in an alert posture for hours. I instantly melted in my seat now that I didn't need to stay focused. Resting my head back against Marinette's desk, I was only vaguely aware of whispering around me, but one voice in particular rang through.

“A-Adrien?”

I bolted upright, and nearly leapt out of my seat. It was like my first day of school all over again, when I shot up to announce that I was present during roll call. I was unnaturally at attention, and far too intensely staring at Marinette, making her blush and break eye contact. I felt like such an idiot, but it was kind of worth it to see her adorable bashfulness.

Ladybug - Ladybug - was nervous around me.

“Yes, Marinette?” My voice was so tight, and much louder than called for. I hated that it was so abrupt that it startled her.

Hiding behind a paper bag, she bowed slightly and thrust the bag out towards me; keeping her eyes fixated on her feet. There was a soft rustling of the bag as her hands shook on either side of it. She hooked her right foot around the heel of her left one, and she nervously rubbed the back of her ankle. My heart swelled and I wanted to pull her into me.

It kept a painfully long minute, but Marinette found her voice. “You're not as good since the soup was yesterday. I mean, the soup isn't as good since I made it yesterday! But, uh, I- I mean we made you some soup to, ya know, m-make you feel better?”

“Don't be so modest,” Alya playfully chided. “We were barely sous-chefs. I think I chopped some vegetables with Nino. Marinette was the one who actually made the soup. It was also her idea to make it for you.”

“Alya!” Marinette whimpered. She still hadn't looked at me. She was too busy memorizing the color of her shoes. She didn't see me reach out for the bag. I hadn't said anything, and so she must have thought I didn't want it. As my hand brushed the paper, she yanked the bag back against her chest; hugging it tightly.

“N-nevermind. It's silly. You have professional chefs; I'm sure you can have much better than my soup.”

“Marinette.” Alya wrapped an arm around her best friend's shoulder as she soothingly said her name with a sad comfort behind it.

My heart raced with the same terrifying, excitement-fueled, adrenaline rush I got my first day as Chat Noir. I had no clue what I was doing, I only had faint ideas from what I gathered out of movies and comic books. I could easily get hurt, but I could also be free and happy. Just like then, I pushed away the fear.

I placed my hands on Marinette's forearms and gently squeezed to get her attention. Her eyes snapped to me like magnets clicking together.

“Thank you, Marinette. It was really sweet of you to think of me like that. I would be honored to have your soup for lunch. I'm sure it's exactly the pick-me-up I'll need for the second half of the day.”

Thank the heavens, my voice was steady that time. It was smooth, and true, and soft, and filled with my honest appreciation and humility. We were just friends, but Marinette still put in so much effort to make sure I was going to be alright. How could I not be humbled by such a kind heart?

We hadn't moved. We just stared. She still hugged the bag close to her chest, and my hands remained resting on her arms, trying to coax her to open up. Alya and Nino were beginning to look at us strangely. I was nervous that the whole standstill was because Marinette was getting weirded out by my touch, so I quickly shifted my hands to the bag and gently tugged on it.

The spell broken, Marinette giggled, but it wasn't the sincere one I had heard over the course of the past week. It was her brief, nervous giggle I had heard nearly every other day. I yearned to hear the other laugh, the one filled with hope and joy.

“I, uh, I hope you like it,” she nervously mumbled. “I don't know if it's as good as when my great-uncle showed me how to make it, in fact, I'm sure it isn't, but-”

I interrupted her with the crinkling of the bag as I opened it up to pull the thermos out. It was chrome with a pink lid and butterflies stuck along the base. She squeaked as I undid the lid.

“I'm sorry about the thermos. It's the only one I have. And don't try it now! It's cold. I'm sure it's already bad, but trying it cold would obviously be worse-” she rambled, ignoring Alya and Nino giving each other knowing glances and softly shaking their heads.

I stuck a finger into the cold soup, pulled it back out, and licked the liquid off the tip. She was right. It wasn't as good as her great-uncle's soup. He was a master. It probably would be better warm, as well. However, it was still absolutely delicious, and it was made with such intended care. It was probably one of the best soups I've ever tasted.

“I get why Cheng Shifu renamed his Celestial Soup after you, Marinette. It wasn't just to bestow you honor for standing beside him. It was because-” I froze. What was I doing? What was I saying? Marinette, Alya, and Nino were all staring at me, wondering how I was planning on finishing the sentence. Marinette's hands were folded and huddled close to her chin. Her eyes were wide, and her mouth was slightly parted. Waiting for me to finish my thought. But the only thought I had left was how much I wanted to kiss those lips.

Panicked, I started coughing, scooped up my things, and the resealed thermos in a fury. “Sorry,” I choked out between my fake coughs. “I should go eat this and rest up for the rest of the school day.”

Before anyone could react, I sprinted out the door and down to the school's courtyard.

“Seriously?” Plagg poked his head out from behind my white cover shirt, pressing against the thermos I had clenched in my arms. “Is this going to be a thing with you now, lover boy? Panicked freak outs and sprinting away? I thought you were going to try to win her over as Adrien so you two could date.”

“I- I haven't decided what I'm doing yet. It's complicated, Plagg. I mean, she's Marinette. She's just a friend.”

“Yeah, you've said that before.” Plagg sarcastically replied.

“Well, she is! One of my best friends. I can't screw this up.” I felt my face burn and I quickened my step as I made my way to my father's town car.

“So that means you're not telling her you've been spying.”

“It means I have to be careful, Plagg” I whispered as I got closer to the car. “Ladybug is constantly pushing Chat Noir away. It's obvious that we're just friends. Both Ladybug and Chat Noir, and Marinette and Adrien. I don't want to ruin anything.”

“That's why you woo her, Romeo. Besides,” he tapped on the thermos with his foot, “ya sure she's just a friend?” He cocked an eyebrow at me before hiding again behind my shirt.

The Gorilla had the back door of the car open, and I quietly slid in. As he drove us home I pressed the bagged thermos against my chest. We were friends. I knew Marinette and I were just friends. Her being Ladybug complicated things, but I thought I knew where we stood. Even so, I felt a goofy grin stretch across my face despite myself.

I had found Ladybug. I had loved her since the beginning. And we were friends. Both our superhero and civilian sides were friends.

Like Plagg said, I could always try to woo Marinette, and see if we could ever be more than friends. I couldn't woo her as Adrien though. Not yet. Not when I knew Ladybug didn't think of Chat Noir romantically. None of it would matter if she couldn't love me for my Chat Noir side. My spontaneous, flirty, over-the-top, playful side.

I had to find a way to get her to love Chat Noir, only then would I feel comfortable enough to confess as Adrien. Confess everything: my love for her, that I was spying, and that I knew who she was. I couldn't say anything before then, and chance ruining our friendship if she wasn't going to love me; all of me.

I hoped she could.